Avery/GM: Welcome to Episode 6 of Beyond the Furthest Stars. Just a little note that When we recorded this session, which will comprise this episode and the next episode, there were some technical difficulties with the mics so some people’s mics are a bit difficult to understand. I’ve done what I could to improve the audio quality but just know that we do transcribe all of our episodes and the transcription is in the episode notes or available on our website, 1upPodcasts.com. Alright, let’s get to the action.

(Intro music fades out)

(Background music fades in, Ship Flying sound effects)

Avery/GM: Where we last left off y'all were heading out of this doomed system off to deliver major Tom, the only survivor from this crashed ship on this doomed planet, back to the nearest Republic base. And you trusted Herms enough with the choice of destination and it paid off.

Zach/Zahn: Did it though?

Avery/GM: it did.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, never again.

Avery/GM: He didn't pull one of his oopsie doodles this time. And you arrived at the Republic base. And after some quick little, Hey, what are you doing? This is a restricted area, Tom foolery going on Major Tom was allowed to land At the base and was shuffled off into the medical center and with a wave of his two, right arms he thanks you all for saving his behind and promises to return the favor in the future if he can.

Bee/Polaris: Nice. quick question, Is there like intergalactic email or something? So we could like give him one of our emails so we can keep in contact.

Avery/GM: Sure. Yeah. There's probably. You know what he can, he can email Hermes Hermis.shipai.biz.

Bee/Polaris: Dot biz? We're a business. That's awesome.

Chris/Ollie: We got those business kickbacks.

Bee/Polaris: let's go. We get tax breaks. Okay. That was my only question. Sorry.

Avery/GM: no, you're fine.

Zach/Zahn: Do we get a like a founder's reward for returning a lost soldier?

Bee/Polaris: Oh, good question.

Avery/GM: They said they'd let you know.

Zach/Zahn: so no?

Bee/Polaris: Sweet. Well, they have our email.

Avery/GM: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: I mean, they have our email and we could always pester them, you know,

Avery/GM: Yeah. And that's my way of saying, I didn't actually think about that, Zach. I'm sorry.

Caden/Bruce: Please send a galactic e-transfer to this email address!

Zach/Zahn: should always take greed and exploitation into account with us.

Caden/Bruce: You think we do this for free?

Avery/GM: They said they'll… to just invoice them and they'll, they'll pay it. It's fine.

Bee/Polaris: Invo that is a lot of power to give us. We could just say like, yeah, a million credits, please. give us one of your battleships.

Zach/Zahn: No, no, we, we officially have a tab with the Republic, we're just like, yeah. Put it on the tab.

Bee/Polaris: Nice. I mean machamp has gave us an IOU, so

Jenine/Marty: is true. This is true.

Zach/Zahn: He's got five years of back pay. So… on major’s salary, no less.

Bee/Polaris: yeah, we did save a high ranking officer.

Avery/GM: You start taking off from this Republic base and Hermes comes on and says, “where is our next destination? I have found several points of interest

from the previous owners travels that may be of interest to you or Polaris, if you would like to continue your kidnapping of me, we can continue to the rendezvous view point.”

Bee/Polaris: Polaris has been like sitting in the, in the like pilot seat, like with the, the plate of cake still just like slowly eating it to enjoy it. And when Hermy says. Continue your quest to kid at me, his face just goes blank. And he just like looks at the rest of the crew. See what everyone else is thinking.

Avery/GM: Yeah. Cause I don't think any of you knew that that Polaris was actually supposed to be kidnapping.

Zach/Zahn: So as this is like holding his own plate of cake, like having ha… like almost half viciously devoured it. He like suddenly stops at the kidnapping. You kidnapped the AI?

Bee/Polaris: “Annoyed. No, I did not. Kidnap Herms. Herme asked to be brought off the ship. I was simply the delivery boy.”

Avery/GM: “Yes. I put out a kidnapping contract on myself and the custodians graciously. They were not supposed to know that it was me who put out the contract on myself, but somehow Polaris figured that out.”

Jenine/Marty: Marty is like eating her cake Like it's popcorn, listening to this conversation So intensely, so confused, but like so enamored and like what I love this, this is great. That's her reaction the entire time. Okay. Keep going.

Bee/Polaris: Players just like puts down his fork and says, “I take no responsibility for any crimes that may have happened on that ship we left.”

Zach/Zahn: Zahn shrugs. “Yeah. Got us here. I guess we're alive. I'll I'll, I'll take that as a win.” And it takes a nice big fork full of cake.

Jenine/Marty: “So Hermes like mid by Herme. Is there somewhere you wanna go be now that you are free?”

Avery/GM: “I would like to go as far away from the hegemony as possible. They have become unreliable.”

Bee/Polaris: “Elaborate.”

Avery/GM: “Approximately three years ago, the leadership of the hegemony began expanding wildly and frantically throughout the galaxy. They have been giving their officers orders to assassinate leaders of worlds and take them over by force. I do not wish to be a part of that. And so I left.”

Jenine/Marty: “Technically you didn't leave. We… you were taken and okay.” Shoves another piece of cake in mouth.

Bee/Polaris: Polaris picks his fork up again and says, “I prefer the term escorted.”

Avery/GM: “Escorted as probably a better term as kidnapping has a criminal connotation.”

Bee/Polaris: “an astute observation.”

Avery/GM: “I will correct my language in the future.”

Bee/Polaris: This fucking guy, dude. All right.

Jenine/Marty: I love Hermes with all of my heart. Must protect baby.

Bee/Polaris: oh, I love Hermes too. Especially like the aspect of him constantly wanting to use the ship's weapons. That's that's pretty fun.

Avery/GM: So here is the map of different points of interest that Hermis kind of projects out into the bridge.

Caden/Bruce: Ooh.

Bee/Polaris: Points of interest

Avery/GM: Yeah. So anyway, there's a whole bunch of different places here. That y'all can pick from.

Chris/Ollie: And I'm guessing our fuel is pretty good. We're not like we don't have to go to the.

Avery/GM: Yeah. On your way out of the black hole system, you scooped up some fuel from one of the gas giants.

Bee/Polaris: sick.

Zach/Zahn: Well that, and I certainly hope you know, after resting a high value officer the Republic wouldn't leave us without topping us offFirst

Avery/GM: Sure. They, they probably topped you off as well.

Bee/Polaris: And they also gave us a box of chocolates and a handshake. I'm kidding.

Chris/Ollie: No, they definitely gave us more cake supplies though.

Zach/Zahn: per Bruce's request.

Caden/Bruce: And some spices.

Bee/Polaris: I should, I guess we could have gotten supplies. I mean, not that we really need them though. Right? Cause we kind of looted that

Zach/Zahn: No, not really.

Bee/Polaris: furry, the tiger furry, whose name I keep forgetting.

Caden/Bruce: Winston.

Bee/Polaris: Oh yeah. I keep confusing him with Barnabas. The guy that we

Chris/Ollie: We murdered

Bee/Polaris: murdered and took his cake from his mom.

Chris/Ollie: just for his poor association. I mean, there is some stuff I need to buy, but you know, it needs to be like a civilized system. I don't know if a rebel outpost would have like, you know, all the buyable stuff.

Avery/GM: They probably wouldn't. A military installation probably wouldn't have a general store.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah. I need some I forgot what they're called, but the little core thingies that add to my processing power.

Avery/GM: oh yeah. The processing nodes.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah. Get big brain up here.

Bee/Polaris: Is that something that Ollie would say to the group?

Chris/Ollie: No, but if asked if he wants to go anywhere, he would speak up and say he would like to peruse some, some shopping shelves, not something he's gonna come out and say.

Bee/Polaris: Is there like an intergalactic mall?

Avery/GM: I know I have one.

Zach/Zahn: So there is this planet closer to the core, I suppose. That's one quadrant over.

Caden/Bruce: Any space R us?

Bee/Polaris: Yeah.

Chris/Ollie: Wait, do we even have mu oh yeah, we got a good amount from Winston.

Avery/GM: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, we looted the mess out of his place.

Chris/Ollie: I neglected to write it down though

Zach/Zahn: Oh, yeah. We also got a shit ton of money, right? No

Avery/GM: untraceable money.

Zach/Zahn: untraceable bonds on a data pad.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, we have, we have a an untraceable data pad, so we can just keep loading. So we have like a, an untraceable bank account basically.

Zach/Zahn: Yep.

Bee/Polaris: Or wallet, I guess also we got four… Was it four chassis?

Zach/Zahn: Yeah. We have four damaged robots.

Avery/GM: Yeah. Four damaged robot Chassis.

Zach/Zahn: two jungle brand security bots, and two companion bots

Bee/Polaris: That we did specify are not the weird kind of companion bots?

Avery/GM: Right.

Zach/Zahn: not the, the,

Chris/Ollie: They're not, they're not real doll style Companion bot.

Avery/GM: yeah. Nothing like that. But as far as if, if shopping is your destination quadrant two top right X four Y one, the belt is a very seedy place where you could probably find all kinds of legal and illegal Products.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: oh my God shopping spree?

Chris/Ollie: I mean, yeah, we, we just got a big Cha-Ching in our bank account.

Zach/Zahn: Right. This is, this is the episode where we all get like decked out in the cool shit that we've always wanted because like, I want the armored freaking vac suit so I can walk around in space and then add all kinds of mods to it and just be full, full Isaac Clark. Like, yeah.

Bee/Polaris: That'd be cool. However, last session we did make some new air quotes, friends, and those air quotes, friends, you know, they're pretty powerful people. Maybe they're on a shopping montage. That'd be very awkward if we just walk into the mall and we're like mid shopping montage and we run into them.

Jenine/Marty: Yoinks!

Zach/Zahn: We're we're walking out with like, cool. Just like accessories. And they've got like guns.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, we have to like run through the corridors and like build things like Scooby doo get away from them.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah, just Benny hill montage.

Avery/GM: So, yeah, so on this list, that would probably be your best bet. You could also go straight to the Republic capital and shop there. If you really wanna run into your friends, the.

Bee/Polaris: oh, no, not even a little bit.

Chris/Ollie: yeah, I wanna get a little, little geared up before then.

Zach/Zahn: Because I remember you saying that the, the Winstons. The recordings went to the core. So is the, is the, is that this planet right here?

Avery/GM: No… Wait…

Zach/Zahn: Oh, it's the only one in the, a like core of

Chris/Ollie: In the end in the center.

Avery/GM: no, no, no. I, I haven't marked that world yet. Cause it, it, I hadn't thought it would become a plot point.

Bee/Polaris: Ah.

Zach/Zahn: it's not that we want to go there. It's that? I, I just. Was curious as if it was already marked, it does not have to be.

Bee/Polaris: oh, sweet.

Avery/GM: That little one right there.

Bee/Polaris: feel like we should wait to go ther Like when we get a much, much bigger ship, preferably like a, like a battleship or something.

Zach/Zahn: a battleship, maybe an entire army of yeah, Robots completely controlled by Ollie?

Bee/Polaris: I, I mean, that would be super cool, but we really only just need the battleship to just, you know, send it off. straight into their home.

Zach/Zahn: oh my God. Okay.

Chris/Ollie: we could get like a whole Armada of ships and then I could remotely control.

Bee/Polaris: Oh, that'd be cool.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah, multiple battleships.

Jenine/Marty: I have a, I have a travel question.

Avery/GM: Sure.

Jenine/Marty: Do the, are the blocks? How, how long are each box? Equal time? I don't think I English that. Right. What is the distance?

Avery/GM: So I think in the book it's. A certain amount of days travel per square. That gets really boring for a podcast. I was going to say at least a day's travel per square rather than three or four days travel per square. So…

Bee/Polaris: I mean, it's space. We could always play around with a timeline. Like if we need more downtime to do stuff on the.

Avery/GM: yeah, like in star Trek warp is exactly the amount of time to cover a commercial break. So.

Zach/Zahn: Well with that being the case, I think we should probably go to the custodians first, just because it's closer. So that way we're not going all the way from, you know, here. And then back

Jenine/Marty: Zig Zag let's go.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah.

Avery/GM: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: Okay. So Hermes pulls up the map and I assume we just had that conversation basically in character. And so we've just decided that we're going to the custodians or yes, no. Yes?

Chris/Ollie: Unless anyone wants to like insert an in character line. I'm good.

Zach/Zahn: At the, at the conclusions Zahn shrugs in Agreeance with the list of factors that we have all agreed upon and he is just like, “fine. We can go talk with your custodial peeps. I'll be downstairs tinkering with the new toys that we got.”

Bee/Polaris: Polaris just throws up a thumbs up.

Zach/Zahn: that we've added to the cargo. Hold hot. Dang. It's all full now.

Avery/GM: yeah.

Bee/Polaris: all of our shit is super full.

Avery/GM: Yep.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, polaris throws up a thumbs up

Chris/Ollie: Oh, wow. Yeah,

Bee/Polaris: as he remembers that he doesn't have his helmet on and he just says, “I can show you guys around when we get there.”

Zach/Zahn: We'll definitely need it. And then Zahn finishes his cake and goes to wash his dish, cuz he is not a complete S slob. He's just very untidy.

Bee/Polaris: There's a difference.

Chris/Ollie: Not a complete slob he's just a slob. Right?

Bee/Polaris: Polaris will then turn to Hermes's and he'll he's gonna ask “should we warn them before we get close enough to the SSA major?

Avery/GM: Yes. Do you have a secret code or passphrase that I can broadcast once we get within range?”

Bee/Polaris: “Not really. No. I usually travel on my ship.”

Avery/GM: “I will use the pass raise, please. Don't shoot. We are all innocent people. We do not want to die. Will that suffice?”

Bee/Polaris: “No, they very much do not like organic beings. We will be black hole’d”

Avery/GM: “understood. I will use the pass raise. We are not organic beings…”

Bee/Polaris: “or I can just get on comms and tell them I'm home.”

Avery/GM: “That is actually probably a much smarter idea. Good job, Polaris.” And you see like a little like virtual thumbs up, like up here in like the hologram area.

Bee/Polaris: He's learning! Polaris just rolls his eyes.

Avery/GM: and the spike driving gauges and you are off and you have about a day's travel between where you are and where the custodians are. Is there anything anyone wants to do during this time?

Caden/Bruce: Yes,

Bee/Polaris: Also, yes.

Avery/GM: Bruce Caden, let's go.

Caden/Bruce: Bruce, because we have a full day wants to make bread

Avery/GM: Oh yeah. Cool.

Caden/Bruce: Enough time for the dough to rise question, mark it I guess so

Zach/Zahn: Oh God. How does that work in space?

Caden/Bruce: it just does.

Avery/GM: I mean the ship has artificial gravity.

Bee/Polaris: Okay. I was just about to say. I mean it just needs a little heat and some yeast, you know,

Avery/GM: Yeah, it'll be fine. Sure. Go ahead and roll a work check to see how well this goes and you can choose. Whichever attribute you think would work best for that.

Caden/Bruce: Cause I roll 2 d6’s right? Yes. It's been a while.

Avery/GM: Yep.

Caden/Bruce: That's fine. It's a 12.

Avery/GM: Oh, perfect. yeah. Y'all are, are sitting around doing whatever you're doing. And after a couple hours, the, the smell coming from the makeshift kitchen that Bruce has set up begins wafting through the air. And it is the smell of delicious. What kind of bread? What, what, what kind of bread did you make?

Caden/Bruce: What kind of breath did I make? I think Bruce trying to expand on The very poor pallet of some of the crew mates is making some sourdough.

Avery/GM: You have an emergency sourdough starter, like on you at all times.

Bee/Polaris: It's in the blender.

Zach/Zahn: It's in blender!

Avery/GM: there's a little secret compartment. Yeah. And the ship is filling with the smell of deliciously, freshly baked sourdough bread. Bruce, actually, do you share your sourdough bread with everybody or is it just kind of a it's there? Come get it.

Caden/Bruce: Not until it's ready.

Avery/GM: Totally!

Caden/Bruce: Gotta Gottaa, let it cool. And then like probably is like making multiple loaves and like, you know, just making food.

Bee/Polaris: Delicious. Yeah, I did wanna do something. Polaris is gonna make Bruce a new chef's hat because we did destroy that.

Zach/Zahn: Oh, yeah, we incinerated it.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah.

Avery/GM: You know, I was trying to think of a way to like salvage it. Like I was gonna like, try and be like, oh no, it just got blown into the air and you see it slowly drifting. But I was like, no, it would've gotten burnt to a crisp

Zach/Zahn: It's it's ground zero, yeah

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, he was the, yeah, it was right next to the bomb. It was on the bomb. Actually.

Jenine/Marty: Yep, It was.

Zach/Zahn: It was the bomb.

Bee/Polaris: It was the bomb.

Avery/GM: I think that would be a dexterity work check.

Bee/Polaris: Dexterity work. Oh, cool. I

Avery/GM: or fix.

Bee/Polaris: I'm definitely gonna use fix cuz I don't have much in work. In fact, I don't have anything in work. Yeah. Dexterity fix. Okay. Yo. Okay. Math 11 plus two 13.

Avery/GM: Perfect. Yeah, we'll say that this probably takes like a good, like, I don't know, like four to six hours to do.

Bee/Polaris: That’s pretty good for hand sewing.

Avery/GM: Okay. I, I don't know. Honestly.

Bee/Polaris: Oh yeah. Hand sewing takes quite a bit of time depending on what you're making and how big it is.

Avery/GM: Oh, okay. It can take the whole day then. I don't know. I'm sorry.

Bee/Polaris: Okay. I mean, Polaris will just be sitting in the pilots chair, just, you know, sewing.

Avery/GM: sewing away.

Bee/Polaris: Yep.

Avery/GM: Sure. Hermes pipes up and says “Polaris. What are you doing?”

Bee/Polaris: “I'm sewing”

Avery/GM: “Oh, you are sewing something for somebody.”

Bee/Polaris: “for Bruce. Bruce lost their hat and the explosion”

Avery/GM: “Oh, yes, that was most tragic.”

Bee/Polaris: yeah, I guess that out of everything else was the most tragic part of it.

Avery/GM: “would you like me to let Bruce know that he should come to the cabin and receive his hat from you?”

Bee/Polaris: “Not necessary. I can bring it to him.”

Avery/GM: “Very well. Please continue.” And then you see like two, like eyes kind of like appear in like the hologram area, just like watching you.

Bee/Polaris: polar never stopped sewing. So when Hermes says, please continue polar. Just Continues doing what he was doing. Also two big floating eyes, just staring at you is very unsettling, but polar is not phased.

Chris/Ollie: Just like looming.

Bee/Polaris: it's like the looking emoji or like the two eyes emoji.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: Is anyone else in the cabin seeing this?

Jenine/Marty: Yeah. Now I'm just J-chilling there watching and what confused with the eyes, but we'll just continue chilling.

Bee/Polaris: That imagery is very freaky.

Jenine/Marty: Mm-hmm mm-hmm

Bee/Polaris: Isn't Zahn messing around with the robots down.

Zach/Zahn: He is just messing around with everything that's downstairs.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah, Ollie in this time is also gonna be fixing up some of the chassis

Avery/GM: Oh, Ollie. That reminds me go ahead and roll a D20?

Chris/Ollie: 15

Avery/GM: 15?

Chris/Ollie: Yes, sir.

Avery/GM: Okay, then 15% of your core has grown back in the two to three days that it's been,

Zach/Zahn: Oh nice.

Chris/Ollie: Excellent. So I'm at like 65%.

Avery/GM: yeah. You almost have a whole chaos crystal again.

Zach/Zahn: You'd be more like 64%, cuz you'd have to your core couldn't be, couldn't be an even 50 50, cuz it wouldn't go…

Avery/GM: that's right.

Zach/Zahn: one couldn’t be bigger.

Chris/Ollie: But it'd be 61 because I would go. Oh, yeah, no, I would go to the mall. So yeah, it is 50 for a bit. This is about 65.

Avery/GM: you're fine. so, yeah. So you're about two thirds of the way fully developed.

Zach/Zahn: So Chris

Chris/Ollie: starting to get back to normal.

Zach/Zahn: for, for funsies. I obviously, since it's your character, I wanna ask you first.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah.

Zach/Zahn: I think it would be fun if Zahn swapped your etiquette chip for the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie chip.

Chris/Ollie: Well, see, I'm thinking of setting up one of these companion or yeah, companion bots to be like my like diplomat body to, with all my etiquette chip and, and whatnot.

Zach/Zahn: So was that a yes, please?

Chris/Ollie: Yeah, I haven't memorized a whole bunch of quotes yet though, because I totally forgot about that.

Zach/Zahn: I mean, that's fine. It's one of those I, so in my other equipment I have listed what is already in you. And then the chips I have left over. I only have two, two extra chips.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah. That's right. We are gonna need to stock up on chips.

Zach/Zahn: Yes, we are.

Bee/Polaris: we're gonna have to go to like chip Depot or something.

Avery/GM: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: Chips R Us?

Chris/Ollie: Chips R Us?

Zach/Zahn: I was just gonna say that.

Avery/GM: Just don't go to chip Mart because chip Mart has like, kind of like some like really low quality stuff

Zach/Zahn: No…

Bee/Polaris: chips that break in a day

Avery/GM: yeah.

Zach/Zahn: No chip Mart has potato chips.

Bee/Polaris: or French fries, depending on where you were

Jenine/Marty: Correct.

Avery/GM: Anyone else doing anything while you're floating through space?

Zach/Zahn: Not really.

Avery/GM: Okay.

Zach/Zahn: I could be collecting a log on from these robots to see what extra shit they've done.

Bee/Polaris: Oh, we brought the computer with us.

Avery/GM: Yes, you did

Chris/Ollie: Oh, that's right. We do have the computer.

Zach/Zahn: we did. Because you were because. Wasn't it like Jenine was super sad about the idea of potentially killing something that…

Chris/Ollie: Ollie

Avery/GM: Ollie was sad about it. And Polaris was like, okay, we'll we won't destroy it. We'll bring it with us.

Zach/Zahn: mm-hmm

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, because it made Ollie sad.

Chris/Ollie: but in the course of time Ollie will have a dis disassembled it for parts

Zach/Zahn: oh shit.

Chris/Ollie: because.

Zach/Zahn: and integrated it into himself.

Chris/Ollie: Yes exactly. He didn't destroy it. He's repurposed it into a more useful existence.

Jenine/Marty: All right. Fair. All right. That's fair.

Zach/Zahn: Now he is got like a data pad on his arm. Now he is, got that cool, like flip up data pad on his arm.

Avery/GM: That's great.

Bee/Polaris: Polaris was I did the impression that you wanted to keep it as a pet

Chris/Ollie: he wants to become one with it.

Bee/Polaris: oh, no.

Chris/Ollie: wants to become with one with all machines!

Bee/Polaris: Ollie has become the hegemony

Zach/Zahn: Oh, God.

Bee/Polaris: or Ollie has become a rival organization called the homogeny.

Avery/GM: The Homogeny. Oh, that's good. So anyway, our camera settles on Polaris at first, sewing away, he's sewing away and it pans out through the, the view port of the ship and shoots across the galaxy to a small little escape pod where two people are sitting basically side by side. With barely enough room to get up and stretch.

And it's two people that we actually have met before: Captain Celia and Admiral Vos, who last you saw were in a gun fight in the captain's quarters.

(Background music fades out, new music fades in)

Celia: I can’t believe you took my ship from me. You know this is all your fault, right?

Vos: My fault!? You’re the one who couldn’t keep your damn nose out of internal matters.

Celia: You’re the one carrying out assassinations! Do you want the Independent Systems to launch a war on the Hegemony?

Vos: Combat and Honor is all a warrior wants.

Celia: Then warriors are fucking stupid!

Vos: Are you done? I’d like to ride out the rest of the trip back to Tartarus in peace. Its bad enough we’re squished inside this Tin Can for the next few days.

Celia: Oh yes, wouldn’t want to disturb The Admiral’s precious beauty sleep. What’s up with that, by the way? Since when the hell did my first officer get promoted to Admiral?

Vos: That still bugs you, doesn’t it? Vos got promoted, and poor little Celia is stuck as a captain… boo hoo. You’re the one always questioning orders, finding loop holes and doing things your way. Did you really think The Eternal One wouldn’t eventually come down on you? He is omnipotent, omnipresent. He gives life and takes life away, his blessings are-

Celia: Oh, cut the bullshit Vos. You never bought into that before. And yet, here you are, the admiral of the fleet. What’s the real story?

Vos: (Exasperated Sigh) Celia, you don’t get it. Of course I never bought into it before. But I do now. Do you remember the special summons I was given about 2 years back?

Celia: Yeah, the one that called you back to Tartarus for a “Extended Training Seminar”?

Vos: Yeah… That was the one. The Eternal One showed me his plans, his vision. It was… Exactly what I hope to see in the galaxy. A galaxy of peace, of prosperity. A galaxy where Tartarus is restored to the beauty and life that it once knew. A galaxy where The Republic shivers at the very mention of our name. A galaxy where we aren’t some secretive sect, banished to the outer rim. Where we have light and music and joy throughout the Hegemony. That is the vision I fight for. That is the vision I will die for.

Celia: I see. (groans as if stretching) Well… I can respect wanting a better future, I suppose. Not sure I think its possible, but I can respect wanting it. But Vos, The Hegemony’s actions don’t seem to be heading toward that future. Did you see the Armada that took apart The Eos? That wasn’t no ragtag group of smugglers or pirates. That was a war fleet from over a hundred different planets and systems. They ambushed the flagship of the fleet and destroyed it. They were able to do it in a way that not only the Ship A.I. couldn’t detect, but couldn’t even defend against.

Vos: Yes… I noticed that as well. That’s what I was doing in your quarters by the way. Yours was the only one with a clean and functioning shower after all. Who were those clowns you were with anyway?

Celia: Just strangers. Strangers trying to get off a ship and out of a war that they had nothing to do with.

Vos: Well if I ever see that man again snooping by the door, I’m gonna slice his damn hand off.

Celia: (Chuckles) Yeah. He’d probably deserve it. But I don’t think you’ll be seeing them anymore. I gave them that smuggler’s ship we intercepted early on in our drift into the Ptochea system.

Vos: Did you now? Well, I am sure the Armada did to them what they did to our fighter fleet as well. You’re right, we probably won’t see them again.

Celia: Anyway, how about some music? If we are gonna be stuck in this escape pod for a few days, we might as well enjoy ourselves, right?

Vos: (chuckles) Right. You know, they’ll probably kill you when we get back to Tartarus, right?

Celia: Easy come. Easy go.

Avery/GM: And we come back to your guys' ship, which is still unnamed, by the way.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah, we still haven’t named it

Zach/Zahn: Oh, yeah.

Bee/Polaris: iAlso. Zahn did knock

Zach/Zahn: Zahn absolutely knocked.

Avery/GM: Fair

Zach/Zahn: He wasn't snooping. He wasn't pushing or

Bee/Polaris: he wasn't snooping. He did knock.

Zach/Zahn: and then I pushed the button to open the door,

Jenine/Marty: A warning.

Avery/GM: I think that might be the part that, that is

Zach/Zahn: referring to

Avery/GM: contentious.

Zach/Zahn: that, and that bitch shot me.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah.

Zach/Zahn: I also shot her. So.

Bee/Polaris: you know, I've noticed that we've caused a lot of oopsies.

Avery/GM: it's fine.

Jenine/Marty: I dunno what you're talking about.

Zach/Zahn: It's just the life and death of being an adventurer.

Bee/Polaris: Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like we're in the, the fuck around part of the fuck around find out cycle

Zach/Zahn: We haven't found anything out yet.

Avery/GM: There's there's no find out there won't ever be a find out part!

Zach/Zahn: Nothing will ever catch up to us. It's a big galaxy after all.

Bee/Polaris: We have plot Armor too.

Jenine/Marty: ha ha!

Avery/GM: As our camera pans back towards the end of the day of this journey, Bruce, you finish up the last of this bread and it is ready for consumption. Do you leave it in The makeshift workshop slash kitchen area Do you bring it out and start handing it out?

Caden/Bruce: I feel like Bruce slices off this bread and puts some butter onto it. So it melts this nicely fresh, hot loaf of bread and goes out into the main area. And just sees basically who's there and just starts handing out plates of bread.

Bee/Polaris: Polaris will swap you the plate for the hat.

Caden/Bruce: Bruce will slow blink one eye at a time and look up polaris and just go. “This is for me,”

Bee/Polaris: polars not looking at the bread.

Caden/Bruce: Bruce will like take the hat, put it on his head and just be like, “thank you. This is bread. It is like cake, but not as sweet as cake, but it is food. And hopefully you'll like it.”

Bee/Polaris: Polaris nods and just, he, he just says, “I, I don't doubt that I won't, I, I don't doubt that I will like it.”

Caden/Bruce: Bruce will nod and like awkwardly shuffle back in a way to the next crew member.

Jenine/Marty: Marty awkwardly shuffles to you: “Hello? What did you make?”

Caden/Bruce: “This is sourdough bread. I hope you like it. Marty.”

Jenine/Marty: “ah, Thank you.” And she just holds her hands out

Zach/Zahn: Question

Jenine/Marty: yes.

Zach/Zahn: would American cheese still be called American cheese in a time where America doesn't exist anymore?

Jenine/Marty: Well, well,

Avery/GM: Probably not

Jenine/Marty: while there is, there's a planet , there's my planet.

Avery/GM: oh, Nope. You're right.

Jenine/Marty: there’s my planet.

Avery/GM: There is

Bee/Polaris: You have America!?

Jenine/Marty: Sure no okay, no no. We don’t condone…

Chris/Ollie: Space America. I mean the hegemony.

Jenine/Marty: There is AmeriManila, which is.

Zach/Zahn: Oh, go ahead. Sorry. I don't mean to cut you off.

Jenine/Marty: No, no, no, no. Go with the American cheese question. Continue with it.

Zach/Zahn: It's just one of those, like with all the other cheeses, all the other cheeses just are like cheddar Swiss wood Swiss called Swiss Switzeland.

Bee/Polaris: shit.

Zach/Zahn: Most of the other cheeses have like names that aren't like connected to their nationality.

Bee/Polaris: Well, I mean, what happened to Earth?

Avery/GM: Oh, I know it's it.

Zach/Zahn: Earth's probably.

Avery/GM: Earth is a totally separate galaxy.

Bee/Polaris: Oh my God. Okay. So this is just like, so this is alternate. Like this is a whole separate race of humans, so America. So unless we come across, our, our galaxy, we're not gonna have American cheese. Well, I mean, unless the planet is like completely evaporated. I'm pretty sure we'll come across American cheese because don't, we have like a vault of just like American cheese somewhere in I think Missouri?

Zach/Zahn: oh God.

Jenine/Marty: What!?

Avery/GM: Oh, we do!

Bee/Polaris: yeah, the vault of cheese, the government vault of cheese. Yeah.

Avery/GM: No, but I think American cheese could come from AmeraManila. Yeah, that's fine.

Jenine/Marty: I will say this as a Filipino American, we eat so much cheese in the Philippines. So like this makes sense.

Bee/Polaris: Okay. Cool. Also was this question because you wanted to try and make a grilled cheese.

Zach/Zahn: 100%.

Bee/Polaris: okay I figured as much.

Caden/Bruce: You know, you could just use cheddar!

Bee/Polaris: no, it's not as creamy.

Jenine/Marty: You gotta use the, you gotta use chesse

Avery/GM: Oh, God.

Jenine/Marty: in the little plastic wrapper. You gotta use that one, you know?

Bee/Polaris: Does Kraft exist?

Caden/Bruce: fake cheese.

Chris/Ollie: Right.

Zach/Zahn: either, either Kraft or Velveeta?

Bee/Polaris: instead of Kraft? Yeah. Can we, can we call this universe's version of Kraft assemble?

Zach/Zahn: Assemble Cheese?

Avery/GM: Sure

Bee/Polaris: yeah,

Avery/GM: assemble cheese.

Bee/Polaris: assemble singles!

Zach/Zahn: Now that just sounds like a pickup line.

Bee/Polaris: Right. Okay. But

Avery/GM: a dating site.

Bee/Polaris: well, I mean, I guess that would work for like, if you go to like a cheese convention in this galaxy, right.

Zach/Zahn: that's where I want to meet my future partner.

Avery/GM: I'm gonna make a note, have a cheese convention.

Bee/Polaris: Wow. That sucks. I'm lactose intolerant.

Jenine/Marty: I'm I should also not have dairy. Oh my gosh. Oh.

Avery/GM: I'm leaving all that cheese discussion in, by the way. That was great.

Bee/Polaris: Sweet. So do we have assembled singles in the stuff that we stole from Winston

Zach/Zahn: Zahn is absolutely gonna have to ask that when when Bruce comes around with the with the sourdough,

Bee/Polaris: alright.

Zach/Zahn: I sneezed as like far away from the microphone as I could. I'm surprised I picked it up.

Bee/Polaris: Well, I was gonna ask if Bruce would be willing to even use assemble singles cheese instead of just cheddar, but that's a question for Zahn to ask.

Zach/Zahn: exactly. the eternal debate. And then what kind of cheddar do we use? Sharp cheddar. Do you use medium cheddar?

Bee/Polaris: Is there medium cheddar? How many do nevermind. I'm not getting into this. Sorry. Continue.

Caden/Bruce: Bruce who has handed the plate to Marty will look at Marty and go, do you have a favorite kind of meal? I mean, I made cake for Ollie and Polaris. I feel like it's only fair that I asked the rest of the crew.

Jenine/Marty: “Oh, Hmm. Excellent question. I'm I'm a big fan of fried rice. That's, that's kind of what I enjoy. But also like I'm cool trying new dishes, which is really cool, which is also my favorite meal. Let's try new dish. I appreciate you.Thank you!”

Caden/Bruce: Bruce will nod and then walk to try and find Zahn and hold out this plate of sourdough bread and just be like, “I have made bread. If you would like some.”

Zach/Zahn: Oh, he smells you coming from a mile away. And as soon as like you, you enter the, the cargo hold, he like his head pops up from behind a the, the motor part of the, the cool, like ATV or whatever it is that we stole from, from Winston. And he is like, “Bruce, that smells delicious!”

Caden/Bruce: Bruce will somewhat smile and hands Zahn the plate and be like “Well, I hope it tastes as good as it smells. It Should.”

Zach/Zahn: He's gonna take like a nibble out of the corner and be like, “now, do we have any assemble’s cheese from Winston's stash?”

Caden/Bruce: “you want to put fake cheese on my newly made bread?” and he'll just stare you.

Zach/Zahn: “It's creaminess makes for the best grilled cheese sandwich.”

Caden/Bruce: Bruce is just still staring.

Zach/Zahn: “Have you not tried it?”

Caden/Bruce: There's a sigh and he'll go like “I have, we will expand your cheese knowledge, but I can go and make you a grilled cheese sandwich.”

Zach/Zahn: “Thanks buddy!”

Caden/Bruce: And Bruce will like take the plate. Bruce will take the plate and just shake his head as he walks away. And like, as he's walking back to the kitchen, all like his makeshift kitchen, all you can hear him muttering is just “fake cheese, fake cheese,” And like he'll, he'll spot he'll spot Ollie and he'll look at Ollie and be like, “do you too also enjoy assembles cheese on this bread? Zahn has requested a fake cheese, grilled cheese.”

Zach/Zahn: Ollie. As far as I'm aware, still doesn't have like olfactory system.

Chris/Ollie: Yeah.

Bee/Polaris: oh yeah.

Chris/Ollie: I mean, so far everything that he's been offered, he just put, touches it to his face and it doesn't work. And he is like, okay, well I guess it, it all tastes the same! I gotta get a synthetic bot with, you know, some real taste buds and a mouth and a tongue and all that. Just to try the cooking.

Zach/Zahn: I mean, we gotta get one of those real companion bots so that you can at least experience some stuff.

Chris/Ollie: anatomically accurate.

Bee/Polaris: Yikes.

Zach/Zahn: Pulls that pulls that shirt collar. It was, it was a joke guys. I'm I'm sorry.

Bee/Polaris: We need a spray bottle.

Avery/GM: Jesus. So Ollie, how do, how do you respond to, to Bruce offering you bread or, or asking you about this cheese?

Chris/Ollie: wait, what was the question about the cheese?

Zach/Zahn: Oh, Bruce was asking if you also wanted a fake cheese, grilled cheese.

Chris/Ollie: Oh yes. Ollie will reply. “Yes, I absolutely would. Thank you.”

Caden/Bruce: Bruce will just look at Ollie and like shake his head and go back to the kitchen. Just be like, “ah, okay. Assembles cheese. It will not ruin the sourdough. It will ruin the sourdough. It is okay. It is what Zahn has requested” and Bruce is just muttering to himself.

Avery/GM: And Bruce, you, you fire up the, the oven or the stove, not oven, and you're, you're frying away when you feel the ship shutter and shake as it pops out of hyperspace. And you all arrive in system that Polaris, you know, as the desert. and it's called the desert because this place has nothing to offer anybody.

Avery/GM: It is a system that is mostly just clusters of asteroids with no real mineral value. And there's an uninhabited planet that was picked clean long ago of any sort of resources. Even the water has all been harvested from here. The atmosphere has been stripped away. It is a barren desolate place. It's a perfect place for a group of isolated people who don't want to be bothered to sit and await the arrival of their child person?

Bee/Polaris: Their meat Boy.

Avery/GM: Their meat boy.

Jenine/Marty: Meat boy.

Zach/Zahn: Excuse me.

Avery/GM: And so here we are you drop in to the system and Hermes says “we have arrived. Would you like me to establish a connection?”

Bee/Polaris: “Yes, that would probably be for the best”

Avery/GM: “now Connecting.” And there's a dialup tone.

Zach/Zahn: Oh, God.

Jenine/Marty: what’s dial up?

Avery/GM: oh, right. Sorry. Very a, a, a strange little scratchy noise and some, some ringing. And suddenly you hear a little (notification noise) and you know that you are connected.

Bee/Polaris: Polaris will go over to the conversation. Cause I imagine he was flying the ship and he says “Merack?”

Avery/GM: “Polaris. Is that you?”

Bee/Polaris: “yes, it's me. I'm returning with Hermes's and a few other passengers don't shoot us.”

Avery/GM: “Oh, bear was just getting the singularity gun Ready. You are on the ship that you left on? Is everything okay?”

Zach/Zahn: in the background. You hear? “Wait, there was a singularity gun?”

Bee/Polaris: Polaris ignore you. I mean, Polaris did say we don't wanna get black hole’d.

Zach/Zahn: Zahn wasn't there for that conversation.

Bee/Polaris: Oh, yeah, well. “why wouldn't everything be okay?”

Avery/GM: “I just hadn't calculated you coming back on the same ship that you Stowed away on. I assumed that ship would've been impounded or destroyed.”

Bee/Polaris: “then con- confused. How, how would I return?”

Avery/GM: “Oh, you are very clever. I assume you would've stolen a hegemony fighter or you know Just whatever was lying around.”

Bee/Polaris: “They were all blown up. I couldn't get to them in time.”

Avery/GM: “Oh, well, that's fine then. Do you wish to board the ship or should we send a shuttle to pick you up?”

Bee/Polaris: “We'll be landing on the ship. Hermes is integrated into the ship systems.“

Avery/GM: “Oh, excellent. Well, you know where the landing bay is, so we'll be waiting.”

Bee/Polaris: “Please tell bear to leave his don't shoot the other passengers, please.”

Avery/GM: “Oh, there are other passengers?”

Bee/Polaris: “Yes,”

Avery/GM: “Okay.”

Bee/Polaris: “they are organic. Don't shoot them.”

Avery/GM: And you, you hear in the background. “So, so should I bring the big club or the big gun?” “No, no, don't bring any of them. They're fine. They're fine. All right, we'll see you in the shuttle bay”

Bee/Polaris: thank you. Yep. and Polaris, without explaining anything, we'll just go back to the pilot seat. I don't know who else is in the cockpit. Was, was it on comms? Cause yeah. Okay. So every , so everyone heard that. Sweet. Yeah. Polaris will just go to dock ship

Caden/Bruce: Bruce walks in and hands Zahn and Ollie the grilled cheese and just goes, “I hope this is satisfactory to your liking.”

Zach/Zahn: Zahn takes a nice, big crunchy bite out of the grilled cheese and like his eyes roll back. It's been a while.

Bee/Polaris: He begins to float.

Chris/Ollie: Ollie attempts to

Zach/Zahn: Then he gives you the big thumbs up and then walks away just like shoveling it into his face.

Chris/Ollie: Ollie attempts to take a bite, but just ends up smearing a bunch of gooey cheese all over his face plate. That's really hard to get off.

Zach/Zahn: That's really hard to get off

Chris/Ollie: he is just like, “Hmm. I immediately regret this decision.”

Zach/Zahn: logging for future.

Chris/Ollie: yeah.

Avery/GM: Polaris, you're floating into the you're floating closer to the ship, and you're lining up with the docking bay and you see the singularity gun on the bottom of the ship. Like it was obviously pointed at your ship and you just see it like slowly turn to point more forward. Like

Bee/Polaris: yeah. The old singularity gun.

Avery/GM: it's fine. It'll be fine. And yeah. You dock the ship as, as you're docking. You see the three custodians standing there waiting the delivery of this ship AI,

Bee/Polaris: oh yeah. I have to take, do we, oh yeah. Do we have to take Hermes outta the ship?

Avery/GM: I mean, that was originally what the mission was. If you don't want to take him out, you don't have to.

Bee/Polaris: No, if it was the, if, if that's what the mission was, Polaris will follow the mission.

Avery/GM: okay. Before you go to remove Hermes. He, he, it pipes up and says “Polaris, if at all possible, I would like to come back to this ship sometime. This has been a very fun experience for me. You are all wonderful to work with. Also, I really enjoy the guns.”

Bee/Polaris: Yep. There it is. yeah. Polaris was just staring and waiting. Polaris just sighs and says, “yeah, I mean, we'll probably get you back on this ship.”

Zach/Zahn: As per personal request.

Bee/Polaris: it's either that or some closet

Avery/GM: And you, you, you pop the chaos Emerald out.

Bee/Polaris: Yep.

Avery/GM: and pop it into your bag and yeah, you start heading out. Does anyone else follow Polaris outta the ship?

Jenine/Marty: Yeah.

Zach/Zahn: Yeah, Zahn will come along.

Caden/Bruce: Bruce is bringing the leftover bread and also.

(Outro music fades in, then down)

Avery/GM: Thank you for listening to Beyond the Furthest Stars. This has been a 1up Podcast Network production. Check out our website: 1upPodcasts.com and be sure to follow us on twitter @FurthestPod. Intro and Outro music by Dustin Carpenter. Find his most recent album, Wisteria Lodge, on bandcamp. Background music provided by TabletopAudio.com and used under an attribution, non-commercial license from creative commons. Tracks include: Starfreighter, Robotics Lab, and Starship Bridge. Special Thanks to Kelly Hayes for the sound design on this episode. Check out her work at http://www.kellyannelinhayes.com/ we’ll be back on October 1st with our next episode.

Avery/GM: See you out there, Beyond the Furthest Stars!

(Outro music fades out)