Avery/GM: Welcome to Episode 53 of Beyond the Furthest Stars
(Intro music plays, fades down, ambience fades in)
Avery/GM: It eats the cookies, and it says, These are the best cookies! You are so lucky to have a friend like Bruce. (Yawns) I'm gonna go to sleep now. When I wake up, will there be more to eat?
Bee/Polaris: Yes.
Avery/GM: And you see a big smile spread across its face as it falls asleep.
Bee/Polaris: You can't get me with this emotionally.
Jenine/Marty: You got me.
Bee/Polaris: You can't get me with this emotionally. I was team anti plant the entire time.
Jenine/Marty: That's fair.
Bee/Polaris: Polaris will, like, look over at Ollie and just kind of shrug. And then, uh, walk back out to the crew. Which, he, he has been livestreaming, so presumably Marty and Bruce could have been watching on their watches.
Caden/Bruce: Bruce probably was, and like, has the flame already, and just be like, he'll just like, take a deep breath and just be like, Okay.
Bee/Polaris: Do you want me to do it?
Caden/Bruce: No. No. I think it's something I have to do.
Bee/Polaris: Polaris puts a hand on Bruce's shoulder.
Caden/Bruce: Bruce will nod and like
Bee/Polaris: How tall is Bruce? Polaris stands on his tip toes and puts
Avery/GM: It's seven feet, right?
Caden/Bruce: If not, it's like upper, like arm sort of, it's fine.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah.
Caden/Bruce: Bruce will like take a deep breath and like ready the flamethrower and like walk into the kitchen and set this plant on fire.
Avery/GM: Rho pops her head around the corner and says, aim for the head. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. Um, go ahead and roll a dexterity shoot.
Bee/Polaris: Oh, I hope it doesn't wake up. I hope sleeping pills actually keep it asleep. That would be
Avery/GM: It rolled a nat 1. It's not waking up.
Caden/Bruce: Okay.
Bee/Polaris: Thank goodness..
Caden/Bruce: You said, you said dexterity and, sorry, what was the other one?
Avery/GM: Shoot.
Caden/Bruce: Dexterity, shoot. Okay, so that's a plus one. One and okay, well, that's a 16 plus one plus one. That is an 18.
Avery/GM: That definitely hits a plant Go ahead and roll your damage.
Caden/Bruce: Ooh. Yay five plus six is eleven plus Four is five Fifteen damage? Fire damage? I don't know.
Chris/Ollie: Yeah, there's gotta be some element, some It's super effective!
Avery/GM: No, it, it, it definitely does thirty, it does, it does double damage, um, for sure.
You see this thing catch fire and start to burn, and even though it's a green, you know, a green plant, it's still burning really fast. Soon it is nothing more than a charred husk, essentially. You do see, like, the vine that was on the floor kind of, like, wiggle real quick and, like, stand up real stiff and then it falls limp to the ground.
Jenine/Marty: Oh!
Avery/GM: And Eden is no more.
Bee/Polaris: Let's go! Sorry.
Chris/Ollie: Ha ha ha ha!
Caden/Bruce: Da da da da da da da da da!
Chris/Ollie: Yes!
Zach/Zahn: Get rekt!
Bee/Polaris: You killed a beloved friend! Ha ha ha ha!
Caden/Bruce: Bruce will bend down and pick up the tiny little, uh, Like, thingy thingy, and like, put it in his, in like, the broken pot, that I assume has like, soil and such. And then he's gonna turn on the stove, and he's gonna throw in some alcohol, and he's gonna flambé the shit out of it to make sure that it's actually dead.
Bee/Polaris: Meanwhile, Polaris is gonna text the custodians to scan the ship for any foreign organic, uh, compounds on the ship.
Jenine/Marty: That's not your friends.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, that's not our friends. Well, that's why I said foreign
Jenine/Marty: that's fair
Bee/Polaris: because they knew about y'all.
Avery/GM: Oh, I think I think Jenine was referring to your shadow friend, but your shadow friend is not organic. So you're fine.
Bee/Polaris: Hell yeah, they're non corporeal.
Avery/GM: Yeah, Bear replies back and says, uh, all scans showing normal now. That was weird. I don't even have a body and that's weird.
Bee/Polaris: Thank you for the commentary.
Avery/GM: And you have successfully killed your plant friend.
Bee/Polaris: Yay!
Avery/GM: Have broken a promise to a, uh, to a, to a interstellar No, I'm kidding. I won't, I won't, I won't keep beating the dead horse.
Bee/Polaris: We didn't break the promise. We did technically take it to somewhere new.
Caden/Bruce: Ta da!
Avery/GM: And it did grow. It did technically get to grow.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah. So ha. All, as far as Eden knows, something went wrong with the ship and all of us are dead.
Avery/GM: Yeah, that's fair. No, you're right. Other than that, is there anything else anyone wanted to do during this voyage to the system?
Zach/Zahn: Nope, we finished trauma dumping on Marty already.
Bee/Polaris: No, Zahn has to have his, well, I guess not now, but he does eventually have to have his therapy session with Marty.
Chris/Ollie: Yeah, he's got to schedule his individual therapy.
Jenine/Marty: Know that Marty is. in the workshop with you just examining what you are doing silently like has the tablet in her hand and watching
Zach/Zahn: well at this point it's probably a better idea for Zahn to get a cast on his arm and not just have it in a sling right
Bee/Polaris: oh yeah i guess
Avery/GM: probably a good idea
Bee/Polaris: would Rho say anything to Zahn having a broken arm
Zach/Zahn: Rho was there for it, right?
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, but it's been a couple days.
Avery/GM: Rho has new effort she can commit. Um, and she does have more bio psionic powers. Does she have
Bee/Polaris: Does she have bone fixing juice?
Avery/GM: I guess she would, she would have, yeah, she does have major organ restoration. So, and that is the skill that is needed to actually stabilize and heal damage done to, as the book puts it, badly mangled targets.
Um, so I guess Zahn, if you wanted to, you could ask Rho to heal your arm for you.
Zach/Zahn: I don't think Zahn would ask, it would have to be suggested.
Avery/GM: Sure.
Bee/Polaris: I mean, he wouldn't know that Rho could do that, right?
Avery/GM: That's fair. Rho catches you after the incident with uh, with Eden Zahn and is just like, uh, So, I know your arm got broken and that really sucks.
Obviously, yesterday I was kind of focusing my powers on other things that needed to be done. Teleportation and all that. Saving Hermes. But it's a new day. I could heal that for you if you'd like. It might feel weird though.
Zach/Zahn: I mean, feeling weird is better than nothing. Feeling pain every time you like, shift so I'll take weird I guess.
Avery/GM: Okay, just, just know that um, it can take about a day for all the feeling to come back so you might still have some limitations for the next day, but I will give it a try.
Zach/Zahn: Groovy, you get a thumbs up.
Avery/GM: Oh, she rolled a 12.
Jenine/Marty: Hey Oh!
Avery/GM: Plus all her. Yeah, she is able to, uh, heal your arm. You hear some really gross sounds of like your bones reconnecting, like the opposite of snapping.
So that's interesting. And your arm definitely feels weird. Like there's like a constant tingle, almost like it's always asleep.
Zach/Zahn: Oh, it's horrible.
Avery/GM: But your arm does not hurt. She says, uh, you should still see your Your doctor though, and just, I guess your doctor's Marty.
Zach/Zahn: If Marty was still in the room, as soon as, as soon as Roe would have said that, he would have been like, Hey, Marty, I need you to still look at my arm.
Avery/GM: Cause like, while I can heal, I'm not the best at it, so
Zach/Zahn: gotcha. Well, can he like wiggle his fingers at all? Or is it all just like.
Avery/GM: No, you still have, you have movement. It's just, it feels weird.
Zach/Zahn: It feels like it's that
Avery/GM: grip strength isn't that, uh,
Zach/Zahn: pins and needles feel
Avery/GM: like you slept on your arm all day.
Zach/Zahn: So you see his like face wince as he like moves his fingers, right? He's like, yeah, I'll probably stop Marty. Look at it.
Avery/GM: And she flashed the peace sign and goes back to the bridge.
Zach/Zahn: Uh, thanks. I give thumbs up as she's walking away because Zahn is still not at all a sociable people person.
Avery/GM: Totally. Anything else anyone wants to do?
Zach/Zahn: So the plan was picking up supplies first and then fun planet second, right?
Avery/GM: Yeah. Tryptopolis first Demeter second. Screw Korra.
Chris/Ollie: Ollies just working on his project.
Bee/Polaris: Oh, did we each get two million credits?
Zach/Zahn: That's what I added to my inventory.
Bee/Polaris: Okay.
Avery/GM: Yeah, Avi, uh, you, during this trip, you do get your, uh, deposit notice from Avi with a big thank you, uh, for saving our family members.
Bee/Polaris: Of course. Hey, we've saved more than we've killed.
Zach/Zahn: Oh, we saved a whole planet, so we haven't killed a whole planet yet.
Bee/Polaris: I meant Winston's.
Zach/Zahn: Oh.
Avery/GM: Awesome. So yeah, so you arrive outside the planet or outside the system. The planet that is furthest out is Tryptopolis and you can see it as soon as you enter the system because it is just buzzing with activity.
Ships are coming and going. It's all lit up and bright from the surface. There's even like space billboards outside that like are advertising it. It's all very like, very Vegas y.
Bee/Polaris: To be clear, we're on the TSKAM, not the Ursa Major, correct?
Avery/GM: I thought you were on the Ursa, but are you like stopping the Ursa and then taking the TSKAM in?
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, I don't think bringing the custodians close to organic beings is a good idea.
Avery/GM: That's fine. Okay, we can do that. So you arrive and you get hailed by Tryptopolis Customs. It's a robot that just says, Welcome. There's a 1000 credit fee for entering the system. Please deposit that into your Tryptopolis account immediately. If you do not have an account, please set one up by pressing five.
Bee/Polaris: Do we all need an account or is it just like one for the ship?
Zach/Zahn: It's one for the ship.
Avery/GM: Does Polaris ask that to the robot?
Bee/Polaris: No,
Avery/GM: it is. It is just one person, so, okay, , I'm just gonna have a witty. You know, come back for it.
Bee/Polaris: Okay.
Chris/Ollie: Damn witty robots.
Bee/Polaris: I guess we use our email, not Hermes email, but like the,
Zach/Zahn: I thought we had a TSKAM
Bee/Polaris: that's Hermes email.
Zach/Zahn: Oh yeah.
Bee/Polaris: I don't think, yeah, I think we need a new email. Actually, let's just use Hermes Oh, okay, nevermind, yeah, let's, no, no, no. You, the GM, just said we should probably get a new email.
Avery/GM: I mean, it's basically been exposed to the dark web, that's all I'm saying.
Like, you know,
Zach/Zahn: just make a burner email, transfer some money into like a third party bank that's connected to that email that's not ill traceable back to us. No,
Chris/Ollie: that's pretty much what I'm thinking. Like, how much did you say it cost?
Bee/Polaris: A thousand.
Avery/GM: Just a thousand credits.
Chris/Ollie: Oh, okay, then, nevermind. Not worth it.
Zach/Zahn: Did we ever directly spend that 100, 000 off the Winston
Bee/Polaris: tablet. No, we split it.
Zach/Zahn: I know, we split it. Okay, we, yeah, okay. I know we split it, but.
Avery/GM: You spent a bunch of it on Braggos.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, for getting like laser blades and all that stuff.
Zach/Zahn: That's right, that's right,
Avery/GM: yeah.
Zach/Zahn: You right.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, I guess set up a, well, who's on comms?
Isn't it Marty?
Jenine/Marty: Oh my god, it's me.
Bee/Polaris: This is all you. Yeah, it's all you.
Jenine/Marty: Yeah, I got it. Wait, what account are we using?
Bee/Polaris: A new one, so you get to make up a new one. Which is why I threw it over to you.
Jenine/Marty: Oh no, okay, wait. You think Marty's literate with computers? She is, she is, I promise. She mostly researches things.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah. We need a burner email.
Jenine/Marty: Oh, okay, um.
Caden/Bruce: This is not Hermes at gmail. com. Ha ha ha
Bee/Polaris: ha ha.
Zach/Zahn: SpaceMail. At SpaceMail. com.
Bee/Polaris: Wasn't it dot ship AI?
Avery/GM: Dot biz, yeah.
Bee/Polaris: Dot biz. Um,
Jenine/Marty: what is a fun little email we can do? Um, uh. ShipsRS. One, two, three at biz dot whatever are the gmail thing is equivalent of this world
And then I
Avery/GM: sure uh at star mail dot gov.
Jenine/Marty: Yep.
Avery/GM: No. edu.
Bee/Polaris: No, can we get gov?
Jenine/Marty: And uh That's the little email I set up. And then I put the little cap, and I'll take it out of my little thing cause I don't spend money. Jesus, there's so many credits!
Avery/GM: You might need two here, I don't know.
Jenine/Marty: One, two, three, four, that's gonna go to a two. Wait, how much more do we get now?
Bee/Polaris: A two million, so just add a
Chris/Ollie: Plus two milli.
Jenine/Marty: One
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, two milli.
Jenine/Marty: Oh, okay, great. Seven digits. Yep. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Okay, um, we're all set. Thank you.
Avery/GM: The robot says, thank you and welcome to the party. Please remember that you will be assessed a 2, 000 credit fee for each item purchased on your way out of the system.
This helps fund our never ending party.
Jenine/Marty: Wait. For each item we purchase, there's another 2, 000 credits?
Bee/Polaris: Export. Yep, export fee.
Avery/GM: Yes, that is an export tax.
Jenine/Marty: Per thing, or just in general?
Bee/Polaris: Per thing. Per item.
Zach/Zahn: Okay, so can we just burn the whole planet down?
Bee/Polaris: I was gonna say we can just smuggle, because we have a smuggler's hold.
Because this is a pirate ship.
Zach/Zahn: That we do.
Avery/GM: You arrive at the, uh, the little, uh, landing bay here. And you see a bunch of tourists kind of milling about here. Uh, obviously, the path leads up here.
Bee/Polaris: Before we get off the ship, Polaris will tell the others, like, we're definitely smuggling our shit out of here.
Zach/Zahn: Zahn nods.
Bee/Polaris: Cause we can just put it in Ollie.
Chris/Ollie: Ollie's internal compartment is quite a bit smaller on the dog.
Avery/GM: And these items that you have to purchase aren't small either.
Chris/Ollie: Although I do have the little rucksack. I'm assuming you fixed that up all the way.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, I definitely made you little saddlebags.
Chris/Ollie: Saddlebags with a little neck pouch.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah.
Chris/Ollie: Ollie is kitted.
Avery/GM: You are approached by a robot that hands you a little data pad that has a bunch of information about the, the city that you're in on it. Tryptopolis is really one giant city, but you're in like a section of the city and you see that there's a bunch of shops listed, but after almost every shop, it's almost like a Facebook feed where there's just like an ad for everything, like right after it.
So like one of the ads. advertises a cooking con, a cooking contest where you can win two hydro cleansers as the prize. Another ad advertises an endurance contest where you can win a von Humboldt reflector. There is a dueling contest where the winner will receive a Durack shaper and a hover bike race where you can win a turbidity homogenizer.
And on these actual shop pages, you do see the items Uh, listed for sale as well, so you could just spend your money and buy them outright if you want. Dropping the prices into chat.
Bee/Polaris: Yikes!
Zach/Zahn: Oh boy,
Chris/Ollie: I'm guessing these prices are exorbitant.
Bee/Polaris: And we gotta pay an extra 2, 000?
Chris/Ollie: Let's see.
Bee/Polaris: Gross. Oh my gosh. Ugh. That's so much money.
Chris/Ollie: No. Whatever. Ollie's got that covered.
Zach/Zahn: I mean, all that together probably doesn't even equate to half a million.
Chris/Ollie: That's like 200, uh, maybe 500k.
Avery/GM: To be fair, when I was When I was putting this price together, I did forget that you also got extra money from Avi, so
Chris/Ollie: Maybe just add an extra zero in all of these.
Bee/Polaris: I'm calculating the total amount, plus the, the extra two thousand for each of them.
Zach/Zahn: But we're smuggling them. And if we win them, hypothetically, we don't have to pay that two thousand. Hypothetically.
Bee/Polaris: Oh, it'd be, it'd be less than half a mil.
Zach/Zahn: Yeah.
Bee/Polaris: Little, little less than half a mil. It'd be 430, 000 including the 2, 000.
Avery/GM: I will say I also created these mini games with the idea that I forgot about the whole Eden situation. So, you know.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah.
Avery/GM: I was also like, oh, let's fill time with goofy little silly games. You will notice also that all the folks, uh, that appear to be like the majority, like the, the native population of this planet are all big hairy like, Wookiee style, like, Sasquatch type people. They're all, like, very, like, macho, or very, like, extroverted, or very, like, you know, friendly, you know?
Bee/Polaris: Polaris will turn to the crew and say where to first. I assume we should we can presumably pay for all these things, but we can also just win them.
Caden/Bruce: I mean, I love the chance to cook.
Bee/Polaris: To the cooking.
Zach/Zahn: sZahn'sa shoo you guys off. He's gonna be like, yo, I'll I'll go purchase You guys had a big spending spree on Olympia, it's my turn. I'm gonna go buy some shit, and then, uh, you guys, you guys win the other shit. And, uh, we'll meet, we'll meet back on the TSKAM here in a little bit.
Jenine/Marty: You hear, like, a click of the stylus that Marnie has, and she writes on the tablet again.
Zach/Zahn: Zahn Like, he's wearing, his helmet is fully constructed, and the top, like, visor bar of the three, like, light beams, like, squints. So it like, darkens half. It becomes thinner, yeah.
Bee/Polaris: Polaris will say, you watch Bruce Cook?
Zach/Zahn: Are you gonna watch Bruce Cook? I can just watch through your live feed.
Bee/Polaris: Oh, you know, I didn't think about doing all of the events. at once, and then we just meet back, but I kind of want to like
Avery/GM: You will see that they all are kind of scheduled around the same time.
Bee/Polaris: Oh, so we okay, so we do split up and do the things.
Avery/GM: If you want to.
Bee/Polaris: Uh, Marty, videotape it for me. I assume you're sticking with Bruce?
Jenine/Marty: Yeah!
Caden/Bruce: I mean, if you want to do a different event, that's okay. I can always record it myself.
Bee/Polaris: Oh, okay, yeah.
Jenine/Marty: I'm more of a, more of a cheerleader, and then she flips the little tablet, and it just says, Go Friends!
Bee/Polaris: Marty, A Galactic Treasure okay, let's uh, let's go. The Polaris are just gonna go towards the bike race.
Avery/GM: Sure. Bruce, you're doing the cooking contest.
Caden/Bruce: Yes, I am.
Avery/GM: Is anyone doing the dueling contest or the endurance contest?
Jenine/Marty: Marty's so squishy, you think she's gonna go try and do that?
Chris/Ollie: Ollie will check out the dueling contest.
Avery/GM: Sure. Okay.
Zach/Zahn: Nah, I can't do an, an, an endurance contest. While I've got like plus one to exert, I've got nothing in constitution and nothing in strength, so.
Caden/Bruce: Oh, I don't want to think about your stats. Come on now.
Avery/GM: Sure. Um, so let's do the cooking contest first.
Jenine/Marty: Oh my God.
Bee/Polaris: Let's go.
Avery/GM: Bruce, you arrived to, um, the location of the cooking contest. Uh, and you see just people just hooting and hollering, just Uh, there's a big crowd around like a stage that has a bunch of like simulated kitchen or not simulated, but you know, like, like kitchen, you know, like, what am I trying to say?
Like the chef, the iron chef thingy
Bee/Polaris: stations.
Avery/GM: There we go. That's the word I'm looking for. Thank you. Yeah. A chef station on it. And there's an announcer on stage that just says, do we have any more contestants for today's cooking contest?
Caden/Bruce: Yes, I will enter.
Avery/GM: Oh, come on down.
Zach/Zahn: Oh man, is Chef Jamie gonna be here?
Chris/Ollie: Oh, showdown.
Bee/Polaris: That would make for a much longer episode, because then we'd have to kill Jamie.
Caden/Bruce: Murder is the answer.
Avery/GM: The announcer just holds up a microphone too, and is just like, please tell us your name.
Caden/Bruce: Bruce.
Avery/GM: Bruce! How exciting! Are you ready to make the most exciting, delicious, party food you've ever made before? And you hear the crowd like scream.
Caden/Bruce: Yes.
Avery/GM: All right! Well, the rules are simple. You have 30 minutes to create the most delicious party dish to serve 1, 000 guests. Are you ready?
Caden/Bruce: Yes.
Avery/GM: And your time starts now! And Bruce, I will leave you to decide how this is going to flow. What ingredients do you choose?
Caden/Bruce: Oh, if I'm making I am making a thousand people and I have to make it in under 30 minutes and it's party food. We are making chicken wings.
Jenine/Marty: Yeah, let's go.
Caden/Bruce: Deep fried wings.
Bee/Polaris: Wings, wings, wings, wings,
Caden/Bruce: wings for days.
Avery/GM: Heck yeah. Awesome. Yeah, you, you find just an endless supply of wings. It seems like in this little freezer here,
Chris/Ollie: it's bigger on the inside.
Avery/GM: And there are, there are a variety of sauces and seasonings for you. Uh, you've got a deep fryer set up and, uh, as you're kind of working along this, uh, this announcer guy keeps like interjecting to like, try and like interview you, it's just like, so Bruce, tell us about your process.
Caden/Bruce: Well very simply the best party food that there is is wings. Now I realize that there's a hard debate between whether you want dry wings or saucy wings, but that is why I am doing a combination of both.
Avery/GM: Oh, the best of both worlds. That is great.
Caden/Bruce: The best of both worlds. Yep. We have our salt and pepper mix over here. We have the lemon zest one here. We have the regular Buffalo one over here, and then we have my personal specialty, which is the river sauce blend, which is a nice combination of blue cheese, buffalo sauce.
Avery/GM: This all sounds delicious. I can't wait to try some. What about you folks?
Zach/Zahn: Yeah. Whiskey river. Blue cheese is great.
Bee/Polaris: Wings, wings, wings, wings.
Chris/Ollie: Yes.
Zach/Zahn: It's really easy on my digestive system.
Avery/GM: Moving over to the dueling contest, Ollie, you arrive there and realize that it's not a combat dueling contest because why would you want bloodshed at the party? You want things cool. You want things feeling good. You want good vibes. What is it? It's a dance contest. That's right. Dueling dances.
Zach/Zahn: Oh shit.
Avery/GM: Does Ollie choose to enter?
Chris/Ollie: Mmm, I don't know.
Avery/GM: Or do you let your party members know about this contest instead?
Zach/Zahn: I feel like the crowd would probably go wild with a dancing dog.
Jenine/Marty: Yeah, they would.
Chris/Ollie: Yeah.
Bee/Polaris: That would be incredible.
Chris/Ollie: With his stats, I think Ollie's got four left feet. But he's willing to try. Yeah, Ollie will post in chat, Directions misleading. Not quite a dueling contest. And, uh, post a little gifs of, uh, the current competition.
Bee/Polaris: Polaris will just, uh, text Ollie, why not just download how to dance?
Caden/Bruce: Just download Dirty Dancing. It's a good movie!
Jenine/Marty: You're right! You should say it!
Avery/GM: It's great! I'm imagining, I'm imagining Ollie as a Dog trying to dance like Patrick Swayze.
Chris/Ollie: Okay. Um, Ollie will reply. That is a fantastic suggestion. And he's going to split himself into 20, 000 Ollie's again. And watch 20, 000 different dance movies and dance routines and dance programs and dance training programs all at the same time.
Avery/GM: Oh my gosh
Bee/Polaris: There's no way he doesn't win that right?
Chris/Ollie: Well, he's no Really the hips don't quite move that way
Bee/Polaris: That's true
Avery/GM: Here's what i'm gonna do you
Caden/Bruce: one of the movies is air fod the dancing dog
Avery/GM: Here's what I'll do, Chris. You get an extra plus two to your charisma, which is what you're going to need for this dance contest. So
Chris/Ollie: I know dance fu..
Bee/Polaris: I was muted, but I laughed.
Avery/GM: Oh my gosh. This is great. This is everything I hoped for. I was also hoping that maybe it might've been Marty that danced.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah.
Jenine/Marty: Do you think she has any sense of how to move her body?
Avery/GM: Marty's cool. I think Marty could do it. I believe in you. But no, this is great too. So you do this download real quick, just as the announcer here is like, Will all dancers make their way to the dance floor? It is time for the dance your butt off contest.
That's right. Every contestant will need to dance until they drop. The last dancer standing will win. As long as they impress the audience. So there are basically two scores here. One, endurance. And two, one, how long can you dance? And two, are you making a good impression? Are you ready?
Chris/Ollie: Here I was hoping my insane AC was gonna help out. Okay, um, yeah, Ollie's ready. He's got his drone floating above the crowd, recording everything for his, uh, his live stream. Doing it for the vine.
Avery/GM: This was the day Ollie became a streamer.
Chris/Ollie: It's all for the clout.
Avery/GM: So yeah, Ollie, describe this dancing then. This dancing dog. What do we got?
Chris/Ollie: Um, well, is this like a freestyle? Like we're all up there at the same time, just going at it?
Avery/GM: Yeah, the music's, uh, the music's playing. And yeah, you. You just, you start dancing and if you stop, you,
Chris/Ollie: you're out. Battle Royale. Alrighty. Um, so all he's going to start off in a really like classic robot. He's doing the robot, but as a dog, but it's next level because he's obviously robot, so like the limbs are like rotating 360 degrees and the head and whatnot.
I love it. And just going through the entire evolution of dance from the early 80s through Whatever, whatever year it is now. I can't remember Just like The evolution of dance going through all the different styles and whatnot, but it's, it's obviously it's as a dog. So, it's uh.
Avery/GM: Totally. Totally.
Chris/Ollie: It's not quite coming through, I would assume. I don't know, I haven't rolled yet. What is the roll on this?
Avery/GM: Yeah, I was gonna have you roll first a Charisma-Exert Check
Chris/Ollie: and then as it goes through the evolution of dance, it's going to wrap up in an interpretive, emotional expression of what we went through on New Terror. With all of my newfound knowledge.
Bee/Polaris: Oh my god. Great, we got Ollie into interpretive dance. Oh no.
Avery/GM: Oh my gosh, what did you roll for that?
Chris/Ollie: What was the stats I'm rolling?
Avery/GM: Charisma, exert.
Chris/Ollie: And I get plus two on charisma?
Avery/GM: Yeah.
Chris/Ollie: Let's see here.
Avery/GM: A bonus plus two, plus whatever you already have, so.
Chris/Ollie: Thankfully I don't have a minus on that. Ten.
Avery/GM: Okay. And then, you'll also want to roll Charisma Perform roll based on your exert check, you may add plus one to this roll.
Chris/Ollie: Excellent, cause it would've been the exact same stats. Oh wow, eleven?
Bee/Polaris: Let's go!
Chris/Ollie: It was the exact same roll, oh my god, okay.
Avery/GM: Oh my gosh, okay. You are dancing the night away, and this interpretive dance causes Quite a few dancers around you to stop. As, even though you're a robot dog, they are feeling this emotion from your dance. They are feeling what you went through. Whatever vibe you're putting out is, is the right vibe. As you eliminate your competition through feelings and emotion, and take home. The prize.
Chris/Ollie: The emotion of watching my pseudo dad execute their parents.
Zach/Zahn: Oh god.
Avery/GM: Exactly.
Zach/Zahn: Zahn has all sound output, uh, for his helmet turned off because he's weeping inside of his helmet watching the livestream of this.
Bee/Polaris: Oh,
Zach/Zahn: the fuck, man.
Avery/GM: Oh my gosh. That's amazing. Bruce, back to you real quick. The wings are just about to come out of the, uh, or out of the fryer. You've got seasonings, you've got sauces, you're good to go. Go ahead and roll a Charisma Work check.
Caden/Bruce: I thought you were just gonna give it to me. What do you mean I got Roll? Uh, Work and Charisma is, that is a plus one. So that makes it a six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I can do math.
Avery/GM: Oh my gosh, ten. I keep putting these at ten. Maybe I should up these for you. Uh, no, that's great. You, you, you beat it. Or you meet it. So meets beats. The judge walks over to you and says, uh, now, or the, the announcer says, now, before our judges try your delicious looking wings, is there anything you'd like to say to the millions of people watching across the galaxy?
Caden/Bruce: Wing it.
Bee/Polaris: That's amazing.
I thought you were going to say like, suck it, jamie.
Jenine/Marty: Me too!
Avery/GM: And the judges try your wings. And they are writing down some scoring and they're, they're doing some judging and you see, they hold up their, their cards. One is a 10, one is a 10, one is a 9. 8.
Bee/Polaris: What? Kill that guy.
Avery/GM: And, uh, the announcer says that is the highest score anyone has ever received in one of our contests. It is undoubtedly the fact that Bruce. Has won the contest and let the party begin.
Caden/Bruce: Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings, Wings
Avery/GM: Exactly. And the crowd starts like crowding the table, like ready to get served. And you are able to, uh, make your way off stage, uh, to collect your hydro cleansers. Ollie, you are given your Durock Shaper, uh, for winning the dance contest. Let's go over to Polaris for the hover bike race.
Bee/Polaris: Let's go.
Avery/GM: There are five other racers here with you, but you've already won a spaceship race, a hover bike race. That's easy. Easy peasy.
Bee/Polaris: I don't believe you.
Avery/GM: No, it'll be, it'll be fine. You'll be great.
Bee/Polaris: I'm squinting my eyes super hard.
Avery/GM: No, it's actually very basic.
Bee/Polaris: Okay, okay, okay. I thought you were gonna be like, and the caveat is there are obstacles gonna blow you up.
Avery/GM: No, I already did that. I already did that. I'm not gonna repeat a trope. Come on. I'm not a hack.
Caden/Bruce: Avery opens a map and it's just Rainbow Road
Avery/GM: Surprise.
Chris/Ollie: It's a race on a minefield.
Avery/GM: So, yeah. So, uh, the, you li the, you, you come up to the race and, and someone's like, are you here to register for the race?
Bee/Polaris: Yeah,
Avery/GM: all right. Well, we have plenty of bikes to choose from take your pick and they're all different colors and different shapes So feel free. What does your bike look like?
Bee/Polaris: It's his signature pink and blue and mostly black It's like pink and blue accents. There's a black bike and it looks real cool real sleek.
Avery/GM: Oh, yeah Very cool. Very good Uh, you line up with the other racers and one of them looks over to you and he's, he's got like an eye patch and he's, he's a big muscle bro. He's just like, you picked a really cool bike, but I'm, I'm going to win. So, sorry.
Bee/Polaris: Polaris just ignores him. Polaris just keeps looking ahead like, this road Loser.
Avery/GM: And, uh, you take, sorry, I don't know.
Bee/Polaris: No, it's funny. There's no greater burden in trash talk than just ignoring the other person.
Jenine/Marty: Facts.
Avery/GM: Yeah. And, and, and he looks a little dejected that you haven't engaged in the trash, trash talk. Uh, definitely bummed.
Bee/Polaris: Wow.
Avery/GM: But that's okay.
Bee/Polaris: He's going to be even more bummed.
Avery/GM: Now we've made jokes that Polaris is like a car guy and a streamer. Do you actually have an audience?
Bee/Polaris: I think Polaris would like, yeah, I think Polaris has like in the past because he's loved piloting so much whenever the custodians were doing jobs He would just go and like race spaceships or something So yeah, I think he does but like no one knows what he looks like because it's always from his helmet perspective
Chris/Ollie: like tuner car YouTube channels.
Avery/GM: Oh gotcha.
Chris/Ollie: They drive Exotic spaceships around.
Bee/Polaris: Yeah, he likes racing. So he does a lot of racing.
Avery/GM: Okay, fair enough So you line up And there's a green light that turns on and you start racing. You are in the middle of the pack so far. Uh, that person that was trying to trash talk you has decided that they are going to kind of bump your bike and try and get you to, to spin out. So could you make a physical saving throw?
Bee/Polaris: A 17 easy peasy.
Avery/GM: Oh, easy peasy. Yep. Yeah, this, this, this guy tries to ram the back of your bike, you end up like getting a little boost of speed right as he's about to ram you. So instead of ramming you, he just hits, he just whiffs it and ends up spinning out and crashing into the side. Not injured too badly, mostly his pride is injured, but he is out of the race. Go ahead and roll a dexterity exert check.
Bee/Polaris: Dexterity exert? Not a pilot?
Avery/GM: Oh, I guess it would be a pilot. I'm sorry. I don't know why I said exert.
Bee/Polaris: I always say that because I'm a special. Oh my God.
Chris/Ollie: Because otherwise you're going to roll like a 20.
Bee/Polaris: Okay. So because I am a specialist, I can roll 3d6 and drop the lowest. I rolled two sixes and a one. So there's what? 12, 15, 16.
Avery/GM: Yeah, no, no problem. You easily, like, racing a hover bike, what, what's that? That's child's play. Uh, you easily outclass these losers as you speed across the finish line and take home the trophy and the turbidity homogenizer.
Jenine/Marty: Yay!
Bee/Polaris: Polaris Akira slides to the finish line.
Avery/GM: And the crowd goes wild and the announcer comes up and says, Let's find out who our mysterious new contestant is. Would you like to tell us your name?
Bee/Polaris: No.
Avery/GM: Oh. Well, it seems you've gained quite a big fan base here with just one race. Do you have any secrets to your success?
Bee/Polaris: Being good at it? What do you mean?
Chris/Ollie: Yeah, don't suck.
Avery/GM: The announcer leans in and is like You're not giving me anything to go off of.
Jenine/Marty: You see Marty, in your periphery, just have her tablet up that says, Be nice!
Bee/Polaris: Polaris like, puts a mad face on his visor, and he just says, Practice.
Jenine/Marty: Thumbs up emoji.
Avery/GM: And there you have it! Practice! That's right, kids! You at home could win this race too one day. Just practice, practice, practice. And we'll be back tomorrow with another race.
Bee/Polaris: While the announcer was saying that, like, when they were facing the camera in the background, Polaris was just shaking his head no.
Chris/Ollie: It's just, you suck on the visor.
Avery/GM: You suck, I'm awesome. I think that's good for many games. Um,
Zach/Zahn: what was the endurance one?
Avery/GM: I'm not going to lie. It's, it was a shot contest.
Jenine/Marty: Oh my God. Marty would pass out
Zach/Zahn: oh no. Ollie should have done. Would they let a robot dog participate in this? Probably not.
Bee/Polaris: Would they know, would they know he was a robot?
Caden/Bruce: Yeah, would they know he's a robot though? No.
Chris/Ollie: You could.
Zach/Zahn: I'm pretty sure. Like the tentacle arm came out of his back to pick up the shot.
Chris/Ollie: Nah, he didn't lie low. Just be chill.
Bee/Polaris: He can just grab it with his mouth, with his doggy mouth.
Avery/GM: Let's see. So we got the cleansers, the shaper and the homogenizer. So Ollie or Zahn, you're picking up the audio oscillators, the cell binders, the reflector and the booster.
Zach/Zahn: Yes.
Avery/GM: OK,
Zach/Zahn: that should be like thirty five hundred thousand. Or three twenty, three hundred and twenty five hundred thousand.
Avery/GM: Yeah, sure, something like that.
Bee/Polaris: Also, like, the ones that we won, we technically didn't purchase, so.
Avery/GM: Yeah, yeah, no, those things you don't have to pay tax on. So you're fine. Okay, anything else anyone wants to do on this party planet? Or do you want to get to the, the R& R?
Zach/Zahn: We want the relaxing party planet, not the bro fest party planet.
Avery/GM: Not the bro fest? That's fine. Look, they can't all be winners.
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